“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.” -Psalm 139:13-18
It is such a wonderful feeling to know that The God of the universe knows me, my thoughts and how I was created. He knows me out of all the 7 billion people present in our world today. He knows everything about me, and because He knows me, He also knows what’s best for me, because He knows my future. This simple fact can be intimidating but also beautiful because I now know that he always wants what’s best for me; and being at Ocean’s Edge School of Worship has shown me that in so many ways.
I may not have an ounce of idea as to what I want to do when I’m finished, but what I do know is that despite how I feel, I know that as long as I walk in His will for me and obeying Him, things will become clearer as I walk on this journey of discovery. A new discovery of myself, and the things that I have been afraid to do for so many years, and having the courage to overcome so many fears that have kept me in bondage for so long. Just being in an environment where I’m constantly challenged, loved, encouraged, humbled, and moved to do things out of my comfort zone. I can’t say every moment was blissful, but so far I am learning to appreciate the sufferings because I am propelled to cling to hope which is in Jesus.
From selfish moments, to selfless moments; I’m thankful for them because I am learning to see beyond me and what I’m capable of doing. From prideful moments, to humble moments; I’m very thankful for because it is in those moments that I realize I have been depending on my weak self to survive, while Jesus has been beckoning for me to let Him love me and guide me and give me the strength to go on. I am still in the process of realizing my worth, and how important it is to find it in Him, and not man. How easy it is to focus on what man will think, and do; when God is just wanting me to accept what he has to offer, and be pleased with Him alone.
It is a process. And I love that through the pain, and through those moments where I just can’t go on that He is still there to help me go through those moments of despair. I’m so thankful for the people He has placed in my life to teach me, to mentor me, to encourage me, and to push me to walk in my purpose. I have never been so loved on in my life, and it is a gift that I don’t want to ever take for granted. Praying that I walk in obedience and go when He tells me to go. I’m excited for the next months to come, and how much God will prune us according to His plans. Looking forward to share more of my story!
PS: Just wanted to share few pics of the year so far: